The woMAN I'm expected to be
by Anchorgurl1
Summary: The other girls back in Glasgow always said that Deryn was far too manly for her own good. Little did they or she know just how simialr to her fellow airmen she was. Sorry for terrible summary! Lemon alert GXG!
1. All I wish I wanted

**(A/N): Hello SuperfastJellyFish her from the Scott Westerfeld forum with my very first fiction!**

**And per request it's a LillitXDeryn fiction woot! And a BIG thanks to my cousin Anchorgurl1 for letting me use her Fan fiction account and to Starif5 for giving me the idea to do this!**

**Not Scott, if I was I wouldn't be a female in high school I'd be a married man!**

**P.S. I didn't mean for this to be multi-chapter or multi-pov but there you go! And this first chapter is mainly emotion! Lemon come in chp. 2 I promise!**

Drowsily Deryn stretched on the warm roof in an attempt to wake herself up from her recent nap; which was a result of her hiding from Lillit and printing press duties on the roof. This had not been the first time Deryn had avoided Lillit in the past two months, however the first 3 weeks was for a completely different reason than the one she had now and recently passed weeks. You see when Deryn had first meet the female archaist she despised with most fibers of her being, and only found her more annoying whenever she would magically appear with some lame excuse as to why she was needed in an expatiation that was previously planned to be just Alek and Deryn. Alek- the very mention of him made Deryn's head spin, but for different reasons than it did back when he and his crew had first boarded the ship.

Alek- a name that had once mad her innards flutter with unsoldierly nonsense now made her head spin with confusion. She had once lusted after him, her dreams a very reflection of desires for the lost Austrian prince but, now they were invaded by a new person; the very type of person Deryn shouldn't be having such dreams about, a gorgeous female. The very thought of her previous night's dreams caused a cold jolt to go down to her nether regions, and caused her to loudly curse her bad luck. Luckily for her the previously mentioned cursing caught the attention of the handsome prince. She was wide awake now.

"Hello Dylan we have been looking for you for quite some time!" Alek called out happily from a lower floor in the building across the alleyway.

"Oh, sorry mate I fell asleep out in the sun!" Deryn replied happy for something to take her mind away from her previous thoughts.

"It is alright Bauer did not mind covering for your duties! I was wondering…" he trailed off, and Deryn noticed how fidgety he was acting. It was as if the next thing he said or did would determine his whole life. "…I was wondering if you wanted to come to my room. I have some things I need to tell you, in private."

"O-okay, you sure you're okay mate?" She asked, for the lad looked as if she was about to spew chunks.

"Just hurry!" Alek snapped back causing Deryn to turn and quickly go to her best friend's room to see what had the lad all riled up.

When Deryn got to Alek's door she raised her hand to knock on the door only to have said door jerked open and pulled her inside at full force by Alek. Pinning her up against the he muttered and apology as the door closed, something along the lines of not wanting anyone else to know.

"Alek what's going on? You know you can tell me anything! Go on what is bothering you?" She asked while he still had her against the wall.

"Dylan you are the most handsome, charming, and daring airman in the whole Air force, and the most amazing person I have ever met. There is no one else quite like you and I think I love you!" Wait what? By the time 'I Love You' had left his lips his eyes were watery. Alek being in love with her was something she was not prepared for let alone what happened next. He leaned in filling the gap between himself and Deryn and kissed her she did not kiss back, for she was frozen by pure shock. Her body reacted negatively to his kiss, gone were the shocks of electricity that danced across her skin when they touched, gone were the day dreams where he asked her to be his empress. This was all she had ever wanted and yet she wanted no part of it what so ever.

After what felt like an eternity in her mind, but was only a few seconds in real life, Deryn began to push Alek, and attempt to regain control of the situation. This was not what she wanted, and as much as she hated to hurt his feelings she would never want this. When she had finally pushed Alek off of her and into the floor she spoke.

"What in the name of Darwin compelled you to do that you daft prince?" She shouted in her best Dylan voice.

"I- I don't know! Dylan I am truly sorry if you do not like me in that way!" Alek picked himself off of the floor.

"It's not just you I don't like that way! It's men in general!" Deryn did not know where that last comment had come from but she did not find it untrue. "God Alek you had to go and ruin everything! The one normal thing I had left just gone." She turned and ran out the door. She ran as fast as she could back to her spot on the roof. Once she got there she just wanted to be alone, and she was for about an hour or so before a very concerned Lillit came to the spot where Deryn was.


	2. First Loves and First Times

**Chapter two Lemon time Dudes and Lady Dudes**

**Not Scott**

**Thanks for reading! - SuperfastJellyFish**

As Lillit approached Dylan, or whatever her name was, her heart began to beat rapidly. What was it about this girl that made Lillit's body act as if she were running a marathon? Dylan did not notice her presence until she down next to her, and when she looked at her Lillit could see a mixture of emotions in Dylan's eyes. The same emotions that Lillit saw in her own every night-

Worry- what the other girl found out her feelings for her

Guilt- it is not right to have these feelings for another girl

Hope- maybe she could return those feeling

"Can I… can I ask you something?" Lillit stammered

"You just did," Dylan gave an attempt at her usual sarcastic humor but, Lillit could see Dylan was just as nervous as she was. "But, go ahead."

"Is Dylan your real name?" Lillit worded so that, on the off chance her real name was Dylan, the girl wouldn't be offended.

"No it's Deryn actually…" Dylan, no Deryn, answered then slide closer to where Lillit was. Lillit turned from having her back to the city to facing it and dangling her legs over the roof like Deryn.

"Deryn, it is a…pretty name…it suits you," Lillit somehow managed out. The two girls' shoulders were touching and this caused a blissful reaction throughout her whole arm. Without warning, or proper thinking, Lillit quickly leaned forward and kissed Deryn, and for a terrifying moment Deryn stayed frozen making Lillit worry she might run off like she had previously with Alek. Sure enough Deryn started kissing back with the same amount, if not more passion.

After licking Deryn's bottom lip as she slipped her tongue in the Darwinists mouth and allowed it to explore. Lillit's hands began to wonder up and down Deryn's back as she was moved on to hers. She quickly closed her eyes and let out a small moan as Deryn began to kiss her neck, and undo her dress. Once it was unlaced Deryn slid it off of Lillit all the while kissing her neck. Lillit felt very exposed and very free being like this- half necked on a roof with her first love kissing her collar bone and heading lower to the newly exposed flesh on her chest, and moving her hand up from where it had previously been used to help prop the other girl up was now cupping her breast while the other was running through Lillit's her.

As Deryn's rough calloused hand felt wonderful on her sensitive left breast as the strong thumb circled her nipple, all the while the right being left unattended. Deryn seemed to have read her mind as she kissed in between her breasts then up the side of the right breast. Much like the left nipple the right was being circled only not by a thumb but, Deryn's slim tongue. In a moment of heat and sudden clarity Lillit felt as if she was aware of all going on around her, as if in her pleasure full moment she had stepped out of her body- she saw the _Leviathan_ flying by in the distance, she heard the loud moans she had no idea she was making, she noticed dark shadows by some of the window's across the alleyway, the utter joy Deryn seemed to be getting from making her act like this.

_Two can play at this game! _Lillit thought as she pushed Deryn off of her then rolled on her. Now she was on top, poor girl doesn't know what she is in for. Ripping of Deryn's uniform shirt, pants, and shoes Lillit began giggling with not only anticipation but, the sight on Deryn binding. Ignoring it and going straight for her flat hot stomach and lowering down to her waist band of Deryn's boxers, yet Lillit wanted to tease the other girl. Lightly tugging at the end of Deryn's boxers slowly and lightly and taking just long enough for Deryn to begin to pant in anticipation. Kissing back up Deryn's lengthy legs until she reach Deryn's middle section, parting her legs, and kissing her inner thigh all the while Deryn's moans became high pitched but remained at a low level for, they did not want to be caught. It was noise Lillit longed to hear more of!

Easing her lips up to Deryn's lips, no not the ones that were currently occupied with gasping, she kissed her labia. Tasting Deryn's mouth and body was one thing but, her vigiana, the most intament part of her, was something completely different entirely.

"Barking Spiders yes!" Deryn breathed in a lowed whisper as her heels went into the other girl's shoulders and Lillit knew she had her. Just a little longer…

"Almost there…" a loud moan was a signal to Lillit that Deryn was finished. While removing herself from in between Deryn's legs Lillit could not help but, feel a little bit of pride, for she'd never eaten anyone out before and her first certainly seemed to thoroughly enjoy herself! Turning and laying down to that she was laying next to Deryn she turned her head and said-

"I just hope no one heard us!"

"Not as if it was my fault! But aye it would hard to explain why one girl went down on another…" Deryn trailed off and closed her eyes thinking about recent orgasm.

"Well I suppose since it is my turn next!" Lillit said with a wicked smile.


	3. A ponder and a peeder

**Oye! Chapter three is ready (if you didn't notice yet!) This one only has a small amount of Lemon; you'll see what I'm talking about in a minute! Anyway so remember those shadows Lillit saw while Deryn was playing with her chest? Well they're kind of important- talk about fore**_**shadowin**_**g ha!**

**This is just a short chapter from Alek's POV! Chapter 4 to come!**

**NOTT SCOTT**

Sinking to the floor Alek felt nothing but remorse and fear. God why did he do it- why did he kiss Dylan? Now he has gone and lost his best friend! What if he tells my crew, his crew, what will Volger think? Alek had seen this outcome, but he still went for it! At least Dylan did not start quoting scripture and saying he was going to Hell, but then again Alek had never paged Dylan as the religious type- he was a Darwinist after all!

_A Darwinist that he was madly in love with-_

Stop it! If Dylan would ever talk to him again the first thing Alek would do is apologize- he will make up and excuse like it was the heat, or he was drunk, or maybe he had not slept that day! Certainly Dylan would believe him and, they could go back to how they used to be- well not exactly but close enough to pretend. Alek shook his head of the thought; the look of his (ex) friends face said it all. Shaking his head yet again Alek stood up to go see if they needed any help- if they would still talk to him. Even walk to the wild bizarre, anything to clear his mind!

Grabbing his father's watch from his desk he paused momentarily at the sight of his friend across the alley. He looked so confused and lonely; lonely that is until Lillit came and sat next to him. They talked for a moment then Lillit leaned forward and kissed Dylan. Dylan paused, much like he had with Alek, and Alek hoped he push away and run like he had before with him, alas no Dylan began to kiss back. Quickly Alek turned so he could not be seen by the two, Dylan already thought him a proper pervert, only to remember all the two would see was a shadow in the window. Turning around to look one last time Alek saw that Lillit was completely bare and that Dylan was playing with her chest, kissing it. Alek turned again and closed his eyes, but once they were closed all he saw was Dylan on top of _him_ kissing his neck- Stop it!

Alek did not need to turn around to guess what they were now doing do to the fact that soft high pitched moans were now audible. At first he would have sworn that they were Lillit's until he heard a scot say "Almost there!" Alek had no idea Dylan could sound so effeminate but, then again whenever the boy was angry his voice would jump a clear two octaves. Sighing Alek hopes that Zaven would not hear or see them not doubt that a father's wrath would be the same Christian or not. How many sins had Dylan committed today?


End file.
